FOMO No Mo'

Discovering tips and tricks to find joy offline and online

Hello fellow cultivator,

Photo by Helena Lopes on Unsplash

As promised last week, I want to offer y’all some systems for a healthy-ish relationship with social media this week. I mean, I can’t just mention all the negative aspects of social media and how ADHD makes it worse without presenting some helpful suggestions to establish a more positive relationship with it. 

Without further adieu, here are some practical tips and strategies that have worked for me to cultivate a more conscious and healthy relationship with the devil:

• Disable notifications:
  I did this a couple of years ago because I noticed that I felt guilty about not getting back to people right away once I saw a notification. My phone has been on silent mode for years; I don’t have Facebook installed, no notifications for Instagram, Twitter, etc., and only badges for Substack (I am reconsidering this, to be honest). All this framework is in place to avoid the negative aspects of social media, and I am still impacted, so you are not alone, my friend!!
  

• Curate your feed:

  I did this when I started rethinking my relationship with the diet culture in 2020, but the work of curating your timeline is neverending. Be intentional about the content you consume, and only follow accounts that bring you joy. For me, it is pitbulls and lots of gardening. If you know me, you know how happy those puppers make me.
  

• Set time limits:

  If and when possible, establish clear boundaries around your social media (and phone) usage. Time limits for how long you can use a specific platform can be helpful. Apple has a feature called “Screen Time” (“Digital Wellbeing” on Android) which can be used to set these time limits.
  To be honest, I found myself bypassing these time limits almost every day when I set them about two (or three?) years ago. However, it has been easier lately, and I can’t remember the last time I even hit my time limit. Not saying that to make myself sound better than anyone, but to say that it took almost three years to get here.
  

• Prioritize in-person connections or engage in offline activities:

  Think of a time you were in an engaging conversation with a friend or a loved one. Do you remember checking your social media? Probably not! Prioritize activities that promote self-care, creativity, and meaningful, real-life connections. I am talking about outings in nature, craft nights with the ladies, book clubs, and face-to-face interactions. This is coming from an introvert! So you know I mean it.
  

• Accept comparison as a given and build healthy strategies around it:

  As I mentioned last week, research has shown that our hardwiring makes us default to comparison, so why not accept that as a fact of life and build strategies to deal with it? Using this as a foundation, my approach to dealing with the feelings that come up when I compare myself to someone is to acknowledge the fact that it is happening right now.
  Growing up, I attended painting classes for over a decade but stopped painting almost entirely in my early 20s. Lately, I have been trying to find my way back to it. Inevitably, I find myself comparing my work to others. However, I remind myself of all their labor to get to where they are. I remind myself that I am just a baby! It seems to be working for the most part.
  

• Other tools and apps:

  I have found that certain apps and tools help me minimize distractions and improve focus. I used BeFocused on my laptop to restrict the use of certain applications during specific hours or for set durations. Given my experience with my phone this morning, I wonder if I should invest in an analog alarm clock.
  

Additionally, I want to talk about the podcast, Offline’s Unplug Challenge. Crooked Media’s Jon Favreau and Max Fisher have partaken in this “multiple-week series that invites hosts and listeners alike to rediscover the world that’s beyond our fingertips.” 

• The challenge started with the two guys quitting their phones cold turkey. They used flip phones for the first week. 

• For week two, the focus was on mindfulness. Max and Jon used a tool that would force them to meditate for 5 minutes before logging into their favorite social media platform.

• Week three’s focused on physical restriction - making it harder to access their phones. They used clown cases - I had to look this up. It is real. These things exist.

• The last week was a set of rules that emphasized the importance of connection IRL.

• Finally, they broke down the entire experience with Catherine Price, science journalist and author of How to Break Up with Your Phone (ordering it as we speak). You can find the episode here.

I recommend listening to these episodes or watching the youtube videos to learn more about their experience.

During the series, I found the tools and rules to be helpful. But what truly grabbed my attention was how the challenge’s accountability component played a significant role in Jon and Max’s success. They weren’t alone in the process, and this helped them stay motivated. Although they described it as a competition with each other, participating in a challenge like this with someone has more benefits than just the idea of winning. This brings me to the community questions for today.

Have you ever done a challenge like this with a buddy? I’d love to hear what tactics worked well for you based on your own experience. Do you have any suggestions to share? Let’s chat!