ADHD and Social Media: A Match Made in Distraction

From blooming plants to doomscrolling

Image by @cottonbro from Pexels

Hello fellow cultivator,

I had a lovely day yesterday. Actually, let me back up a little here. Last week was an emotional rollercoaster for me. I would love to blame the mercury microwave or Saturn's bitchy attitude for it, but that would be very convenient and not leave me with any lessons to be learned from the entire ordeal. For real, though, it was a week that started with general anxiety, with a touch of being overwhelmed, triggered by the never-ending tasks of being an adult without a wife. Everything else that happened during the week only compounded those feelings to the point that I could not sit down to do anything creative at all - and I mean AT ALL. 

If it sounds like an excuse for not sharing anything last week, then you are on to something, and honestly, is it working?

Jokes apart, last Thursday, I decided to prioritize my mental health and just focus on the implosion within that was in the form of tiny explosions.

After six days of constant worry and stress, I woke up that Friday feeling more in control of my emotions than the other way around. I took the day to catch up on work and other to-dos, which left me feeling highly productive and like the dark cloud of doom was finally lifting.

I started my Saturday with an acupuncture appointment. I hold most of my stress in my shoulders, neck, and lower body, so my body was out of whack. I couldn’t just turn my neck to face someone behind me.

That was followed up with furniture-related research by going to multiple stores to get an idea. Decisions are had to make for my ADHD brain, especially when the options are endless. It is exhausting.

I ensured I included a visit to some nurseries on this day because a) I needed gardening supplies and b) I LOVE PLANTS. Based on a friend's recommendation, I went to the San Mateo Arboretum Society. FINALLY. 

One plant store was insufficient, so I stopped by another nursery for gardening supplies. 

Once I returned home, I took a break to cuddle with the dogs and my partner on the couch before returning to housework. My partner and I ended the evening with some Mexican food and the movie “Terminator”. He had been asking me to watch that movie with him for over six months, and I finally gave in. 

All that to say that I had a wonderful Saturday. It was productive and gratifying. My partner and I even found time to connect amid house chores. I went to bed tired but very content.

Which brings me to my Sunday morning. 

Once I turned off my alarm, I realized I had no reason to jump out of bed and get started, so I took it easy and cuddled with the dogs. However, I did not put away my phone and started scrolling through social media. I realized I had not checked Instagram on Saturday, which gave me a false sense of pride and an excuse to go hard first thing in the morning. 

After almost an hour of doomscrolling through everyone’s stories, I left my bed and started my Sunday. As I was brushing my teeth, I started thinking about 

• my friends on vacation and how I have not been on one in a while 

• my friends on a hike and how I spent time in furniture stores instead

• my friends attending weddings and how I have not been invited to one this year

• my friends hanging out in large groups and how I haven’t seen my friends in a while, and well, I don’t have a lot of friends

And on and on it goes.

Now, I am sitting here and wondering how I went from going to bed happy and content to feeling bad about myself and my life within just one hour of looking at social media? It only took less than an hour of doomscrolling through everyone’s best representation of their lives to undo almost a week’s worth of intense emotional work (sometimes with my partner) that was finally moving the feeling of contentment through my body. The impact was so immediate! 

We have all heard about the effects of social media on our mental health and society in general. I believe in the research and the science behind it all. I understand why the U.S. Surgeon General, Dr. Vivek Murthy, needs to issue a new general advisory about the Effects Social Media Use Has on Youth Mental Health.

I also understand that technically I am not the youth, but for the sake of this argument, let’s just assume that my brain and I don’t know any better and get impacted the same way as someone between the ages of 13-17. Honestly, we would be lying to ourselves if we thought that, as adults, we were immune to the impact of those highly curated timelines. 

---

The Allure and Pitfalls of Social Media

We know that these platforms are designed with engagement in mind. Gone are the days of chronologically ranked social media timelines. Since 2016, thanks to Facebook (which is now Meta), your Instagram, Twitter, and other social media feeds are powered by an algorithm. 

I am a software engineer, so I’m trying not to scare you with the term algorithm because it is just a bunch of code designed to do something. An algorithm is neither good nor bad; it is just code. It is the intention behind the code that makes it good or bad. In this case, the code is designed to manipulate human behavior, elicit a reaction from the user, and increase engagement. The algorithm is designed to keep you on the platform - and keep you scrolling for more. 

So, it is not you; the product is the problem here.

Social media platforms have their benefits - they are a great way to connect and maintain long-distance relationships with your loved ones or find your virtual communities with people who share your interests. It has allowed us to share ideas, experiences, and information on a global scale. The impact of social media on organizing for social justice is unmatched. 

However, we can’t overlook the darker sides of this product any longer. 

• One of the negative points is how it heightens and feeds into our tendency to compare ourselves to others. Brene Brown talks about comparison and the places we go when we compare ourselves to others in her book Atlas of the Heart and the HBO series with the same name. What stood out to me the most from her comparison episode is that many social psychologists consider social comparison something that happens to us. Researcher Frank Fujita writes when we are presented with another person who is obviously better or worse off; we have no choice but to make a social comparison.
  Given this research, it is unsurprising to understand that seeing carefully curated and idealized versions of other people’s lives can trigger feelings of inadequacy, envy, and self-doubt. Humans were not designed to handle constant exposure to others’ achievements, relationships, and experiences. No wonder we are left feeling downbeat about our own lives.

• Moreover, FOMO (fear of missing out) can arise when we see our friends and sometimes people we barely know (because you don’t have 200 friends, Stephanie!) hanging out or attending events. Again, feelings of exclusion and loneliness are nothing but ordinary. 

It is not you; it is the platform.  

According to Mclean Hospital: 

Social media has a reinforcing nature. Using it activates the brain’s reward center by releasing dopamine, a “feel-good chemical” linked to pleasurable activities such as sex, food, and social interaction. The platforms are designed to be addictive and are associated with anxiety, depression, and even physical ailments.

Did someone say dopamine?? You know what that means; let’s talk about ADHD, baby.

---

ADHD and Social Media: A Complex Relationship

Again, I have to start by saying that social media has its benefits - it made it possible for me to connect with fellow ADHD adults. Hell, it was critical to starting my diagnostic journey. However, adults with ADHD face unique challenges when using social media. Here are some aspects of ADHD that intensify the negative facets of the online experience.

• Self-regulation difficulties

  I mentioned emotional dysregulation briefly when I wrote about RSD. As a reminder, emotional dysregulation happens when your brain can’t properly regulate the signals related to your emotions.

  Social media often shows the highlight reel of other people’s lives. It's easy to forget this fact when browsing through other people's stunning vacation photos, which can trigger feelings of inadequacy or low self-esteem. The relentless exposure to curated content can amplify these feelings and contribute to increased anxiety or depression.

• Impulsivity

  This is my favorite ADHD side-effect, and by favorite, I mean the one that ran my life before I put post-it notes saying, “Mistrust your sense of urgency” all over the house (more on that another day!). It can be tough for those with ADHD to always think through the consequences of their actions. And with social media offering instant gratification through likes, comments, and shares, it's understandable how impulsive behavior can sometimes occur, such as posting or arguing without taking the time to consider the potential impact. Ultimately leading to feelings of regret or anxiety or both! I know, I have been there.

• Time blindness

  ADHD brains comprehend time in two simple categories: NOW and NOT NOW. We are all prone to losing track of time occasionally. Still, people with ADHD have difficulty perceiving the passage of time. This means it is second nature to us to lose track of time while scrolling through our feeds or engaging in those dopamine-inducing online interactions. Essentially, it is difficult for our brains to accurately estimate how much time we spend on social media.

• Attention deficient/distraction

  Any ADHD traits list would be incomplete without the mention of attention deficient or, as I like to call it - selective attention deficient. ADHD brains are prone to get distracted due to executive dysfunction. All the notifications, updates, and constantly changing social media feeds are excellent breeding grounds for distraction.

Looking ahead to the next edition of our newsletter, I'm excited to delve into practical strategies for forging more meaningful connections on social media. Before we dive in, though, I'm curious to hear about your personal experiences with these platforms. Are you similarly affected by their influence? And have you come across any helpful tips or tricks for mitigating their adverse effects? Please feel free to share your thoughts in the comments section.