The Pizza Predicament

Plus 35,000 other decisions

Here’s a fact that will blow your mind; an adult makes about 35,000 decisions each day. I should add a privileged adult, but I hope that goes without saying.

According to Eva Krockow, a lecturer at the University of Leicester in the United Kingdom, 

whether you’re making breakfast or deciding what to wear in the morning, your brain is making upward of 35,000 decisions each day. By the evening, you’re exhausted, but you can’t quite put your finger on why.

So, let’s start by just saying that decision-making is the worst, and almost everyone, I mean EVERYONE, including the very neurotypical, has experienced decision fatigue at one point in their life. We do it so often that we forget about the significant amount of mental and emotional energy it takes to identify the problem and gather information to identify AND evaluate the various options. And this is all before you can even implement the decision!

Image from Canva by Yuri Arcurs

What makes decision-making challenging for ADHD brains?

It is not hard to imagine why this is particularly hard for our neurodivergent brains. I am sure you can tell what I am about to say: thanks to executive dysfunction, particularly our poor working memory, ADHD brains have a hard time making decisions.

Here are some other symptoms that contribute to indecisiveness:

1. Inattention or Distractibility

   Here’s ADHD 101; we get distracted very, very quickly. That is it. I can’t tell you the last time I picked up my phone to order dinner and didn’t get distracted by some other notification or got bored and started petting the dogs instead. Our difficulty keeping our attention when working on something that doesn’t interest us or anything unpleasant can make the decision-making process incredibly time-consuming. Our brain just can't focus long enough to weigh all the options and make a choice.

2. Time Blindness

   Have you ever found yourself spending hours browsing Doordash for dinner options, checking Yelp reviews, and scrolling through pictures of food, only to end up deciding it’s too late to order anything at all? No? Just me?
   
   I've been in similar situations many times where I've taken too long to make a decision and ended up with something from the freezer instead. It's frustrating when the decision-making process takes so long that the decision itself becomes irrelevant.

3. Perfectionism

   Our need to have the “perfect” pizza! What if they don’t make it right? What if the pizza is too doughy? Again, it HAS TO PERFECT!
   
   ADHD is one condition that is associated with high levels of receiving and perceiving criticism. Additionally, we are highly sensitive to rejection, so we try our level best to get it right ALL THE TIME.

4. Analysis Paralysis

   Have you ever been asked to answer a “simple” question like “What is your favorite song?” and found that your brain can’t think of a single song? Our brain starts analyzing all our choices, overthinking what those choices mean for us or how they reflect on us. If we are lucky, maybe we will come to a decision, but then second guess it over and over again only to pick a different choice, and on and on. That, my friend, is called analysis paralysis.
   
   Here’s a little visual to help you understand it better.

   

Strategies to help with decision-making

Okay, this is great; now we know why decision-making is not our strongest suit. It can be frustrating, but it helps to know that you're not alone in this struggle!

However, most of us have to make daily decisions to survive as an adult unless we hire someone to do it for us. For the rest of us, I would like to share some strategies that have been helpful for me when it comes to making decisions:

1. Fake Deadlines

   Occasionally, I will set random deadlines for myself to finish a project and share that deadline with someone to hold myself accountable. Just creating one doesn’t quite work for me since I know it is not quite “real” or binding. The accountability portion is critical here in making this strategy work.

2. “Automate” Everything That You Can or Create a Routine

   I have mentioned this before, but every Monday morning, I prepare a giant bowl of steel-cut oats with chia seeds (and a bunch of other mixins) for breakfast. This bowl usually lasts me the entire work week, which means that I don’t have to decide what to have for breakfast every morning.

   Additionally, I have the privilege of working from home, so every morning, I pick out a t-shirt from my “inside-outside” clothes sections, a pair of joggers from the same section, and voila, mental energy is saved!
   
   Every little decision “automated” in this manner helps me a lot since it all adds up.

3. Write It All Down

   I came across this concept of Monday Hour One through the Good Trade daily newsletter (referral link added) on Notion. I don’t follow the idea to a T, so my modified version entails spending about 20-25 minutes every Monday morning writing down everything that needs to be done.

   In addition to this, a quick brain dump session whenever I feel anxious or start over-analyzing something genuinely helps alleviate stress. Making lists or brain dumping helps me pull out everything floating around in my brain and keeps random things from popping up in the middle of something completely unrelated.

4. Ask for Help

   If you are anything like me, asking for assistance does not come effortlessly to you. However, it is important to let those around you lend a hand, especially on days when your brain is being extra silly and overthinking a decision. Practicing this can include asking for input or clarity on the choices available to you.
   
   For instance, if it is my turn to pick a spot for dinner, I ask my partner what type of cuisine he's in the mood for. This can be very helpful, even if there are several options to choose from. It also brings me to the next one - limit your choices.

5. Limit Your Choices

   Remember, the first skill needed for decision-making is that you need to be able to evaluate all the possible options. This is where our brain gets stuck in analysis paralysis since too many options can easily overwhelm us. For example, the question - “What do you want for dinner?” is overwhelming for me, whereas “Do you want pizza or mexican for dinner?” is much more approachable. Instead of getting stuck in analysis paralysis with the endless takeout options, my brain only needs to pick one of the two choices presented to me. It narrows down my options. Don’t get me wrong, some days, even that is not approachable, which is when self-compassion is essential.

6. Self-Compassion

   Always remember that we all make mistakes. It is okay if sometimes the pizza is doughy because one bad takeout does not make you a failure.

   It's important to acknowledge that some days may be more difficult than others. There are days when your brain may be well-rested and functioning at its best, but there are also days when it struggles to perform even the simplest tasks, and that's perfectly normal. Remember that one bad day, week, or even month does not define you as a person. It's okay to be human and have off days.

   If you're curious about how I go about practicing self-compassion, feel free to check out my approach here.

7. Remove Stimuli

   It's important to keep in mind that neurodiversity is a unique and personal experience, so I cannot speak on behalf of everyone with ADHD. Personally, I struggle to read or comprehend conversations when I feel overwhelmed or overstimulated, which makes it challenging for me to make decisions.
   

   Turn off that TV or go to a different room if watching or hearing that show play in the background makes it hard for you to pick a spot for takeout. Anything that helps manage our brain’s propensity for inattentiveness.

Finally, and I can’t say this enough, it's essential to keep in mind that most decisions can be reversed or modified, so nothing is set in stone. You always have the option to change your mind. I genuinely hope this helps relieve some pressure for you in the future.

I'm curious to know more about how you make your decisions, fellow cultivator. Have you found any particular strategies that have been successful for you?

PS: Well, you might have guessed it, but I am hungry now and need to order some pizza.