In the Midst of Daily Chaos: Discovering My 'Ocean' of Gratitude

Spoiler alert: It's filled with coffee, puppy cuddles, and lots of laughter

Hello fellow cultivator,

I first started working on this piece when I first read this beautiful piece by Regina McKay, published in The Good Trade. Her essay beautifully reflects on the importance of cherishing and being present in the small, everyday moments that make up our lives, emphasizing the value of appreciating the "ocean" we are already in.

She refers to a scene from the movie Soul to establish the concept of the “ocean”. Below is the text from her essay:

There’s an amazing scene in the movie Soul where Dorothea tells a story to Joe, the main character who’s searching for the meaning of his life.

“I heard this story about a fish,” she tells him. “He swims up to the older fish and says, “I’m trying to find this thing they call the ocean.’”

“‘The ocean?’ says the older fish. ‘That’s what you’re in right now.’”

“‘This?’ says the young fish. ‘This is water. What I want is the ocean.” 

I created a list of moments that qualify as my “ocean”, which you’ll find below. However, the writing on this never felt “done”. It took me almost three months to send this over to my dear friend and the resident editor for this little Substack, Jana. 

However, with this season of gratitude upon us, it feels like the right time to share this list with you in whatever shape it exists. It’s my hope that it will help you view the tiny moments in your life in a different light. 

P.S.: Thanksgiving is not my holiday, and I don’t write this to glance over the history and trauma of this day. Given my (silly/goofy) ADHD brain’s tendency to focus on the negative, I am choosing the Thanksgiving spirit of gratitude to remind myself of the moments I take for granted but am eternally grateful for. 

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Since reading her essay and this little exchange, I have been thinking about my “ocean” and the things that I am grateful for. The various things and moments that my younger self didn’t imagine.

So, here’s my list, in no particular order:

• The taste of my coffee with that oat milk sweetener first thing in the morning.

• My dogs, Diana and Angel, jumped up on my chair, nudging me for love and attention.

• My partner coming to me for a mid-day hug.

• My sister facetime-ing me to share her excitement about a new medical procedure she learned to perform for the very first time. The excitement in her voice makes me so happy, even when the details are gnarly and make little to no sense to me.

  

  Me (left) taking a picture of my sister (right), unaware of mom’s camera.

• Trying a new restaurant with my partner. He is a fantastic cook, which means we break down the meal to understand how to reproduce it at home. This way of enjoying food is new to me, but I absolutely love it. It adds a whole another layer to our date nights. Even cooking something at home with him is very rewarding in terms of both the meal I consume and the connection we build through the process.

  

  My partner (left) examines my (right) work while Angel waits for some food to drop on the floor.

• Meeting with my friends for brunch, talking about our lives and all the adventures. Picking back up where we left off even when we haven’t seen each other in weeks or months.

• Opening my journal to pour out my heart and process my feelings by writing them down.

• Listening to The Daily or Up first as I prepare breakfast for me and my dogs.

• Speaking of podcasts, listening to a silly or irreverent podcast as I hand-water the plants in the yard, knowing fully well that it is not the most efficient way to go about this, and I should be working on setting up the irrigation system. Edibles may or may not be involved in this process.

• Stepping into a warm bubble bath and feeling my body relax.

• All the cracks and pops as I stretch my body - a reminder of new ways it wants to be loved.

• The joy of watching the bees and butterflies enjoy the flowers in the yard. As well as the hummingbirds coming to drink some nectar.

  

  This pretty butterfly is a permanent resident of this passionfruit bush in the backyard.

• Watching the birds enjoy the feeders by the family room window. I see them fight to sit on the feeder or sometimes take turns flying from the bushes to the feeders and then back to the bushes.

• The dogs wagging their tails or twitching their lips and paws as they dream of running through fields and fields of wild grass.

  

  Our dog walker takes the most fantastic pictures! This is Diana at the beach looking so freaking HAPPY!

• A warm embrace by a loved one.

• Going to comedy shows with family and friends.

• Painting with my sister.

• Watching a new leaf, a sign of life, on a plant that was ready to give up on me.

  • Or “rescuing” a dying plant and returning it to its healthy state.

• Meeting with people from the Internet and successfully exploring that bond in person or over Zoom.

• Sending over my writing to my dear DEAR friend, Jana, and receiving the most insightful feedback. Also, grateful for our Zoom calls where we get to share all our feelings - ALL OF THEM (and sometimes watch The Bachelor)!

As I reflect on these moments that make up my "ocean," I'm reminded that life's beauty often resides in the seemingly mundane. In the taste of morning coffee, the wag of a dog's tail, or the simple joy of connecting with loved ones, I find my sanctuary. 

Regina McKay's wisdom sparked this exploration, and I hope you've found resonance in these shared snippets of my life. In this season of gratitude, let's not only acknowledge the challenges but also celebrate the small victories and joys that weave through our days.

So, fellow cultivators, what's your "ocean"? Take a moment to dive into your own list, recognizing the beauty in the everyday. In sharing these reflections, may we find a collective sense of gratitude, grounding ourselves in the richness of our shared human experience.

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P.P.S.: Just wanted to give you all a heads-up! I am taking the month of December off (thank you,

Sandra Ann Miller

for the inspiration!). But don't worry, I've got a couple of posts ready for you that are chock-full of links and lists. Think of it as my way of helping you get through the holiday season - whether you're traveling or stuck in traffic or enjoying a quiet night at home. Happy reading!