Defining Success for Yourself

Cultivating new definitions of ambition and success

Last year, my coach, Christy Stuber, asked me what success really meant to me because I had mentioned, in passing, that climbing the corporate ladder was my definition of success. Mind you; this was towards the end of the session. We had about seven minutes left. (I am known to do this a lot. A LOT. Right toward the end of these sessions, BAM, I share a core belief that I am not even sure is mine - but hey, I let it run my life. Okay, I digress.) What transpired in those few minutes altered my thoughts about success and ambition.

She tasked me with figuring out MY definition of success - not the one I am conditioned to believe - the one that resonates with me TODAY.

While I have had some time to think about what success and ambition mean, this list below is still a work in progress. I consider this a living document, evolving with time, especially as I better understand my ADHD brain and its ever-changing obsessions/hyper-fixations. Without further ado, here’s how I am choosing to define success for me TODAY:

• I live in an open green space in the middle of nowhere with room for all kinds of animals, so the next time I come across a dog sitting in the heat outside a Safeway, I have the space and resources to help; maybe, I bring the little buddy home with me next time! (There is a story behind it. I called an animal shelter to ask if they could help, and they asked me to call animal control, but I didn’t want to be THAT person - the person that calls animal control on an unhoused person.)

• I have time to cook elaborate meals with my partner - without any rush. He is a brilliant cook, and being his sous chef is an absolute honor. 

• OH, ROAD TRIPS! Family road trips are my favorite! Diana is an absolute trooper. Angel needs to keep the window rolled down so she can smell all the things - the wind makes her mouth flap like she is about to take flight.

• I am kind to myself and my brain. Well, speaking of my brain, I would also like to understand it a little better - just a little.

• I am there for my people - friends and family - to support them through their successes and hard times. I love hosting and cooking for folks (it is the Indian in me). While the pandemic made that difficult in 2020, now I am just busy/tired/drained to do it. Speaking of, the next point on my list.

• I have a better relationship with REST. I am currently reading “Rest” by Alex Soojung-Kim Pang. While I understand the reminder to relax, I appreciate that this book tells you why and how to go about it. It describes in detail the effects of rest on your brain and why it is not just sitting on the couch and binge-watching “Love Is Blind” (although it can look like that sometimes).

• I am building my life around activities that bring me joy - art/doodling, gardening, time with my floofs*, bubble baths, writing this thing, growing mushrooms, hikes/time in nature, and reading. Oh, seed germination for the vegetable garden. I got a whole system going on right now. I LOVE IT!

That is all for now, but I want to know your definition of success. Is it a regular morning routine or moving your body twice a week? Or is it learning to cook a new recipe? The world is your oyster, my friend!

Internet Things On My Mind

• The podcast Work Appropriate is back on this list. This episode talks about success and ambition (I swear I started writing this blog before that episode came out. I swear I have original ideas!! LOL)

• Inspired by this reel here, I am ambitious about being as mediocre (I have a weird relationship with this word, but that is for another day) as an average man.

• I think about this A LOT. A LOT!

• And, of course, “Rest” by Alex Soojung-Kim Pang. Honestly, I am not the biggest fan that he uses Winston Churchill or some other white male commander from World War II to make some points, but I’ll let that pass since everything he says is backed by science, and we love that.

• The only take on Madonna’s new face that has made sense to me is this article by Jessica DeFino. In Jessica’s words: “if Madonna really wanted to be subversive? She’d age”. OOF!

Your Bi-Weekly Dose Of Pitties

I didn’t ask them to pose a certain way - I did nothing but capture this moment of peace. The two of them cuddle like this quite frequently (not as often as I would like, though. They are wild!). It is ridiculous! I had no idea Diana would be such a loving older sister all these years.

Angel and Diana cuddling together

Alrighty, folks, have a good weekend. Don’t forget to hug your furries (another name for dogs), and this name also includes cats, bunnies, hamsters, llamas, chickens, etc. - just NOT snakes! C’mon now. ktnxBIEEEE!

* pupperos, puppers, etc. - I have way too many names for dogs.