I had been in a funk for the past few weeks.
Things were still getting done around the house or at work, but it had been challenging. My limbs felt heavier than usual, some of my plants didn’t look too happy, I found a bunch of mealy bugs on my string of dolphins, my beefy cactus died, I had not been painting or writing or cooking, the mushrooms weren’t doing their mushroom things - they kept growing mold instead of the usual mycelium they need, and getting myself to workout took twice the energy. Even dog walks weren’t prioritized, and Diana was not too pleased. On top of all that, my eyes had been twitching non-stop for weeks - maybe months. I am not exaggerating! I do mean NON-STOP.
There’s a strong urge to defend my feelings. However, the part of my brain that has been in therapy for nearly three years refuses to indulge my need to give you all the reasons that justify my feelings of despair, sadness, loneliness, insecurity, overwhelm, and anxiety. You are allowed to have all the emotions! You are entitled to feel all your feelings*!! Big or small! ALL OF THEM!
That said, thanks to ADHD, most of these feelings can come from a lack of dopamine for me (it sounds like I am justifying my emotions after saying that I don’t need to, but recognizing dopamine’s massive role in ADHD brains feels essential here).
Earlier, I hinted at how these emotions felt in my body; I want to review what finally helped me feel more like myself this Monday morning, aka how I got my dopamine fix.
It started with the couple’s therapy on Friday (yep, my partner and I meet with a couples therapist weekly). We aren’t separated or have significant issues that must be resolved ASAP; we created this space for our relationship to learn tools to communicate better. I highly recommend it if you have the resources available (both mental and financial). As you can imagine, I felt connected to him after the session, which gave me the energy to work out (hello, endorphins) and take D-Money (Diana) for a walk(the article mentions something about losing weight but fuck that noise). Being out in nature with my pupper (my dog) always makes me feel better. I mean, it is two of my favorite things simultaneously.
Later that evening, we watched an episode of Cunk on Earth - “Philomena Cunk’s epic landmark mockumentary on civilisation**, tracing humanitykind’s journey from prehistory to the present day.” It asks hard-hitting questions like - What happened to Laika, the first dog in space? Does the great wall of china have a roof? Was Jesus Christ the first celebrity victim of cancel culture? Are there any pictures of him being crucified as a baby? All of this in a northern-British accent! According to my partner, “Everybody can use a dose of Cunk.” All this to say, I laughed so hard that my stomach and cheeks (chubby cheeks problem) hurt after every episode (read as MORE DOPAMINE!!). According to NeuroLeadership Institute, Laughing swaps the cortisol in our bloodstream with highly sought-after chemicals in the brain: dopamine, oxytocin, and endorphins. Dopamine can enhance learning, motivation, and attention. Watch it for the chemicals! Just DO IT! And then tell me all about it!!
Saturday included a long heart-to-heart with a family member. I felt so connected, supported, and loved by them. Studies show the benefits of human connection. Stress and overwhelm lead me to isolate myself because talking to someone means replaying the conversation repeatedly in my head - flooded with questions like - Did I talk too much? Did I take up too much space? Was I too much? That wasn’t the case this time. I felt refreshed and alive after the conversation.
Lastly, a tour and picnic at Charlie’s Acre Farm Animal Sanctuary was the cherry on top of this dopamine and oxytocin sundae (on a Sunday - Aiiiyyeeee!!)
My partner and I spent around 3 hours learning about the animals’ backgrounds and stories at the sanctuary. We fed some chickens and cows, AND I made a pig flop! That is going on my list of achievements for 2023. I pride myself on finding an animal’s spot (get your mind outta the gutter).
While the past week has been significantly better, I would be lying to myself if I said that I would remember these “tools” (or these studies) the next time I am in a funk. How do you manage those days, weeks, or months when everything feels like a lot?
Internet things on my mind
Not necessarily on the internet, but it has been on my mind, so story time:
I almost went to a psychic this past weekend. A couple of things on the psychic: He (call me sexist, but I have feelings about it being a he. Leave something for us women just like we left mass shootings for you men! I digress, again) asked for $40 per palm, and I was all for it (I know!), but then he refused to take anything but cash! It is 2023, sir! Cash as your only option is shady as fuck! Venmo, Zelle? Nothing? Just cash? What are you hiding, my dude?I only had $20, and asking him to read half my palm seemed useless. Long story long, I thought I was about to get a profound insight into what the future holds for me so I could stop overthinking everything and finally “go with the flow,” but no! This male psychic wants me to worry about everything constantly. Thanks for nothing, dude! Tax evasion is more consequential than helping a fellow human with your dodgy skills.
Please help Charlie’s Acre with their Amazon wishlist if you can. Thank you!!
Self-care is the latest trend. Anne Helen Peterson’s interview with Dr. Pooja Lakshmin on faux self-care is worth the read.
Advice on aging by The Good Trade readers. A friend recommended subscribing to the Good Trade couple of years ago, and I am so glad I took their advice.
Did you know this? It is cute that I still get surprised by numbers like this.
Bi-weekly dose of pittie cuteness
BONUS DOSE!
Lastly, I am inspired by Kristen Carter’s series on executive functions. I want to expand on the learnings from the episodes - understand these functions, how the lack of these management skills shows up in my life, and what I can do to work around/manage them. Focusing on one executive function a week will help me build habits that may (or may not - no promises) stick. Hopefully, some of it resonates with you - ADHD or not.
Alrighty, cultivators…Friends? Team? Fellow humans? Dopamine addicts? Trying to figure out how to refer to you all, my imaginary friends – oo, that could be it!?! Anyway, have a restful weekend, and let me know how you are getting your dopamine fix. OH, and always, always hug your floofs for me. kthxbiee!
*in a way that doesn’t harm you or the people around you.
**yes, it is British.