Hi, hello! I hope you have been saying NO to things that don’t spark joy over the last week and have created room for your heart's true desires.
For the second week of Women’s History Month, I permit you to start taking up your goddamn physical space - without feeling guilty about it. And don’t you dare apologize for it! Please don’t!
This week is inspired by a dear, dear friend of mine.
A therapist once asked me to think about how my dog Diana inspired me, and I immediately thought how she emanates the concept of “strut your stuff”. With that in mind, I would be remiss if I didn’t mention that my other dog, Angel, is also a great source of inspiration for this subject - this pupper takes up her space and then some. She sleeps horizontally on a king-size bed, and I don’t know how she takes almost half of it. She doesn’t care about kicking you in the face as she stretches herself, and she makes pig sounds in case you decide to move her a little.
I am not saying you should kick people in their sleep, but don’t be afraid to claim what you deserve!
For the second week of Women’s History Month, I permit you to start taking up your goddamn space - without feeling guilty about it.
As an Indian woman, I grew up being asked to make myself small - literally and figuratively. My body was too big, my laugh was too loud, my limbs were too long, my hair was too damn thick and untamed, my opinions were too irrelevant, my behavior was too wild, and my emotions were too many. It made me think I was too much. Guess what? I'm not.
If you belong to a marginalized community, I can’t even begin to imagine the messages you received growing up.
But guess what? We don’t have to follow that narrative anymore! We can join the many women fighting back. I am not saying it will come naturally to us. Oh, hell no. Yet, we must give it our best because - say it with me - WE DESERVE IT!
You are permitted to:
Laugh loudly - this one is for all my girlies who snort or laugh from their stomach or slap their thighs when they laugh. Never stop doing that. Your laugh is infectious, and we need more of that!
Dance like nobody's watching - My long-limbed girlies, spread your arms! Show off those figurative wings!
Take a seat at the table - I mean literally. I got this advice from a badass woman in tech and my sponsor at that time to not sit in the back chairs in the conference room. I no longer need to shrink away in the background - this realization was one of the most empowering moments of my life.
Share your thoughts - You and your emotions deserve to be heard. If they are your people, they care about what you think. (I am, personally, working on this one - aka this blog. The number of times I think, “no one gives a shit about what you have to say,” is ridiculous!). You can invest in your thoughts. Share them, and build on them. They bring value to this world. You bring value to this world. Internalize that! You are allowed to invest, share, and build on your ideas. Say it again: you bring value to this world.
Refute that you need to be physically petite - fuck that noise. Feed yourself. Eat what you want, when you want. I mean it. Like every other woman, I have a complicated relationship with my body, but that is a subject for another day. Just know that you don’t have to shrink your brain or body to fit someone else’s idea of an “ideal woman”.
Vocalize your boundaries - without feeling guilty! I know, it’s such a radical idea! Say NO. You are not selfish or mean. You are someone who values your resources.
Celebrate your wins - You worked hard to get where you are - probably (if not definitely) more than your straight, white cis-male peer, so don’t forget to bask in that glory. You deserve it!
Community Question: What does taking up space mean for you? Share your thoughts in the comments section!
Internet things on my mind
A beautiful poem about taking up space by Vanessa Kisuule.
Regarding boundaries, I highly recommend reading “The Joy of Being Selfish” by Michelle Elman. She is absolutely brilliant. I haven’t read her latest book yet, so stay tuned for that.
As someone working and living in Silicon Valley, this article from Rae Katz has me feeling all kinds of ways.
I must create something like this - a reminder of the things accessible when my emotions are too overpowering.
I highly recommend reading this conversation with a therapist on what taking up space looks like - for marginalized folks.
Bi-weekly dose of pittie cuteness
I hope you have a wonderful weekend and take up ALL THE SPACE! See you in a week with the next permission slip. KthxBieeeee